Das Umardolische Kaiserreich - The Umardolothian Empire


The Brown and Dark Cyan is Bantania and Meizonia


I am going to re-write the Oath I had a while back, as I cannot find the original… This will be a bit of a look into what the consequences are for breaking anything on it, or straying from it.

Betray the contract and:


that’s almost it… Of course you won’t be crucified for all your misdoings. There will be minor punishments later, but this is literally the only punishment I had during the Wars of Bias.
Steal crops: Crucifixion
sell illegal stuff to other factions: Crucifixion
talk smack to me: Crucifixion
kill guards: Crucifixion
You probably get the point by now, and yes, I was a dictatorship of sorts… And people hated me for it, so it was pretty fun watching the Kingdom of Elves and Men get all butthurt when I put restraints on trade, they wanted my people to give them soldiers, and I said “Nope, you cannot trade guards! I put regulations on that.” Then Grandolf (their “King”) would go on rants where all the while we where roasting him for his insane amount of hypocrisy and lack of knowledge on the front of Diplomacy, Economics, and just how to lead a “Kingdom” in general.


The Silver Church - Papacy of Jayixthenland-Umardoloth

The Silver Church is pretty much (as you know from the title) the Papacy for JU. It handles almost all religious affairs, and the excommunications of other “Kingdoms” if they where real far up s##t creek (Which happened often with the Kingdom of Men, and Elves). The Silver Church had it’s own God, but also kept sacred artifacts, and scriptures from the Holy Scrolls, Golden Coconuts, and Watermelo’n. The reason why Pope Kreatons was even doing this in the first place, was due to a meeting we had that took 58 Minutes (I recorded all of it xD) where we discussed an alliance with the Silver Church. It was pretty much pointless, as we didn’t get what we wanted persay… But it established a Papacy in the Dual Powers, so it was cool. Luckily for us, Pope Kreatons had his own military, which made the other “Kingdoms” worried about us, and so they decided to unite, even though the Kingdom of Elves, and Men where about to declare war (Which is complete BS). I kinda feel like I am bouncing around a lot in this, because there really isn’t that much to talk about for the Silver Church, other than they worshiped Silver, they had 1 City, they used Mallorn wood for their houses… And they held artifacts for us… They did have a navy, however, it was only 1 cruiser, and it was stationed outside of a port village controlled by the kingdom of men.


The Gods worshiped during the Wars of Bias

So, before I start, we didn’t take our gods seriously at all whilst playing on Lord of the Test, so we just messed around a lot with the gods, and made them as silly as possible.

First up, we got the almighty Nigler
The Great Nigler was a god that I created after I looked at some screenshots I took from Shogun 2 Total War
here is the screenshot that I edited

As you can see, he looks like Hitler… as for the other half, I have no clue why we did that.

Next, the great, and all-knowing Zombocom
The Zombocom is literally just this http://www.zombo.com/ made into a god. I found this while taking one of my weekly internet quests to find weird stuff. I literally memorized all of that african guys lines, and mimicked his voice and made holy scriptures out of the stuff he says. Just to add on to how weird this is, there was this guy on Minetest who was named ‘Tombo’, so I said “You know what Jay? I am going to make that polar opposite of Zombocom.” and so I made Tombocom. I was basically all like “The unattainable is not unknown, at, TOMBOCOM”, “Welcome, F##kboi, who has come, to, TOMBOCOM” and so forth.

Then we have Fatty Wep
Some of you who are reading this probably know about Fetty Wap, well this is pretty much the same thing I guess… But no, it’s not, so wipe the sweat off of your forehead, stop breathing so heavily, and go outside and calm down. Anyways, so I was just playing some OpenSpades with my mates, when this guy joined… And his name, was Fetty Wep. He immediately went down the hallway to the opposing side, and he just fire his gun once… BAM, all of the people on the enemy team where dead. He just kept going on, and on doing this for a few minutes when I thought to myself “THIS MAN WILL BE A GOD”. So yeah, that’s Fatty Wep

And Last, but not least, we have the Grand Coconut
I don’t really know what to say about this, other than we built a huge canal on LotT that allowed us to move warships to the coastal village of Bywater (Owned by the Kingdom of Men) and named it ‘Coconut Canal’… You know what? Just take this, it will explain everything.

We don’t worship these gods anymore, sadly, as I am working on new gods, each with a complete story behind them, as well as illustrations for how they look.


Turrets and other things…




So I found one of news papers…

Tensions grow in the South (E)!

Riots are beginning to break out in the Kingdom of Elves! King Grandolf I has not given statements towards these issues but it is expected that he will deal with these riots with bribery, or brute force! Rioters claim that they are upset over hostilities towards Jayixthenland-Umardoloth and will not end these riots until the people of Jayixthenland-Umardoloth are treated equally and allowed to build what they want, where they want! As this is happening, the Jayixthen-Umardolothian politicians are busy debating whether or not to align themselves with the unofficial Kingdom “Rangers”! Since this “Kingdom” has been viewed as a group of radicalists that follow the Kingdom of Elves, and have no sense of self control… However, Kaiser Vultblooop III von Umardoloth has stated the following; “We are willing to put aside past perspectives towards these people and make new viewings on their Kingdom with and Alliance, but of course, this Alliance is up for debate on whether or not it will pass”. The situation with Jayixthen Warships being sank un-conditionally is still the spearhead of riots in the Kingdom of Men, where Protesters are blocking the entrance to Armories, Storage facilities, and the Gates to the city! Buy tomorrows addition to the Umardolothian Post to get updates on these turmoil-filled times!


And an unfinished citizenship paper

Alleron I of Ergeburgestadt

Role: Builder

Volksturm rank: Gefreiter

Member since: 3/6/16
Home location: Ergeburgestadt/1st district
Class: Medium Nobility
Tax/Friday: 10 Gold Minegeld


Oh… And this…


Yesterday, the Jayixthen-Umardolothian politcians sat down in the palace of Leyadel to discuss the issue of the Elves, as well as the alliance with the Rangers. The discussions where swift, and the conclusion was made that Umardoloth and Jayixthenland would ,in fact, form an alliance with the Kingdom of Rangers! The alliance details are under wraps, but it does have military formats. meanwhile, the Jayixthen-Umardolothian protests are growing, and getting more, and more serious as the days progress without discussions about how to reason with the protestors. However, Kingdom of Men “King” Thomas-S seems to be oblivious as to why these protests have started! These are dark days, but Umarodoloth, Jayixthenland and their allies will prevail!

This was literally the nail in the coffin for the Kingdom of Elves, as the King of the Rangers Halt_ was the rightful heir to the Elvish throne, and was going to stop at nothing to take it from his brother (Grandolf). Since the Kingdom of Elves was a Democracy, and Halt_ still had claims to some sort of power in the Elvish government. Therefore he could prevent the Elves from declaring war on JU if we made a move on the Kingdom of Men. This alliance was when we should have declared war on the southern powers, as this was the climax of the diplomatic tensions, with border incidents constantly boiling up between Leyadel and the Southern Powers.

I will try to get un-banned off of the Lord of the Test server. If anyone would like to join me, and make some noise with my return feel free to PM me. I will be declaring war shortly after my return on all of those who betrayed me, then I will go after the Southern Powers.
Seig Heil fur das Umardolische Kaiserreich!


One last thing that may cause some confusion is the King for the Kingdom of Men. I will start from the beginning on this…

So, when JU became a serious power on the server there where more than just 3 powers (other than JU and their vassals), there was the Kingdom of Aliamas, the Kingdom of Men, the Kingdom of Orcs, the Kingdom of Elves, the Principality of Etheral, the Principality of Muffinland, the Kingdom of Dwarves, and the Empires of… Something, I can’t really remember the name, as we never knew about them until I went out exploring one day… But they where basically another diarchy that faded with time. These powers would later fade with time, be absorbed into JU, or be absorbed into other factions.
So let’s start with the Principality of Muffinland. These people where ruled by Princess Muffers I of Muffinland, their capital was Muffinpalace (I nicknamed it the Casterly Muffin, anyone who watches Game of Thrones will know what I named it after ;D) which essentially was a huge fortress with a HUGE tower for the palace, the walls where made of Cobblestone and Stone Brick, while the interior had trees, and some houses that where made of Alder Wood, Mallorn Wood, Pine Wood, Birch Wood, and lots of assortments of stone bricks. The palace itself was a very tall palace that was thin at the bottom, thick in the middle, and thin at the top. It was made of stone and had a huge eye made of black and red wool at the center of the tower. I was in close touch with Muffers whenever she was online, gaining relations in order to make her one with the Empire (the Umardolothian side is what I mean by that. At the start, me and Jay weren’t in that tight of a diarchy as we where when I was banned) and use her to help make the Empire grander, and to show the other peoples of the server how persuasive Umardolothian politicians are. (I wasn’t going to use her as a tool, exactly, I treated her as a friend, and I valued her as one as well. It was not easy for her to join JU either, as we had negative relations with Aliamas, who she was apart of) Eventually I built an Embassy inside of the Casterly Muffin

It doesn’t really look that nice, but it was very resource intensive, especially since we where just starting out. So, the Principality of Muffinaland joined JU, and made our Diarchy twice as big by adding another large city to it. But this wasn’t sitting well with the Glitterboi sitting across the lake from Leyadel, oh no, he started whining and trying to win Muffers back with words, when Muffinland was bound to server JU by gold, and oath, and protection. The tensions between Aliamas and JU was short lived, however, as we brokered and Alliance with them after they calmed down a bit. Now… About Aliamas, They where this small, humiliating hypocritical Kingdom that had control over the cities of Aliemere, Bywater, and about 2 other cities. They had no military, and their members didn’t obey their King, Sparky, who made the kingdom such a joke. Their architecture was just some houses that where either WE from a default file, or they where made by some MC fanatic that liked default MC villages. Their capital was a complete joke with building what where just rectangular towers with windows, they had no sense of interior design, and they had no idea how to build a proper city. Their navy was 1 ship that had a hull made of glass… let that sink in… glass, a glass hull. but enough ranting, we where their allies for around a month or two, when an idea was proposed by Sparky, the fake. He wanted to merge Aliamas with the Kingdom of Men. This is literally the only reason the Kingdom of Men was a major power, they merged with Aliamas, thats it, before that, the kingdom of men was one of the most inactive kingdom on the server. We put up a pretty good struggle, but Sparky did it anyways, he merged them, and guess who was king? Sparky was king, because the previous King (Jericho) was to lazy to rule. This broke our alliance with Sparky, and gave sparky a seat of power, which actually backfired on him. But that is a story for another time I guess… I feel like I never finished what I wanted to say in this post, so I will re-read it and finish it tomorrow, I have some other stuff to show you guys!


So yeah, I just remembered that I took most of my screenshots via steam, so here you guys go, all of the screenshots in my steam folder for Minetest

<img src="/uploads/default/original/1X/ed1328b938eae63e843bd

Ohh… yes, easily one of the saddest fortresses on the server, Strongvale, the only things inside of the city where Embassies… so sad.
and then I was banned, so, if you want, you can help me get unbanned, and take back revenge. This actually wasn’t all of the screenshots, I have screenshots of the chatlogs from the battle of leyadel, and some other bs drama, but idk if anyone would care about that…


I could contact the pope through gmail, as he is almost always on it. But we need to figure out our sh- I mean, stuff for how we have been treating him lately… You and Kreatons will also need to help with getting me unbanned, not so much you as your influence is pretty much spent with OC… But you still need to rally all of the vassals. I will try to get my sister to get a seat of influence over some of the other smaller factions, and get her to forge alliances between them and the principality of Etheral… But all in due time… I will see to messaging Kreatons.


Welp, the server owner is an ignorant, hypocritical, and straight up cancerous old guy that should be laying down resting instead of fighting with kids on a game for kids, yet he does it anyways. Jay and Kreatons tried reasoning with him, using valid points, but apparently his justification for not being banned is through a lie, saying that I was unbanned, when I am clearly not unbanned.

This is apparently not being banned ^

He deleted the post, sadly, but I am sure at least one of you seen how he lied straight to our faces


Good news, I have found several servers to move to!
PM me for their addresses and ports, we will make great things there!


Northern Umardolothian High Nobility house

Northern Umardolothian Medium Nobility House (small)

Northern Umardolothian “City Hall”


Dammit, I just realized that those are the same houses… I cannot fix it now, as my laptop is broken… Damn those kids!


So yeah… They said I would get my laptop back in two days… It’s been 4…
GG staples, gg


Damn son, 128 views in one day, noice!
Make sure to check out KaiserJayArh’s post as well, he deserves some attention!


So I made this map strictly from memory… It’s a very, very rough map of Umardoloth during the wars of bias… Please excuse the text pieces that are where they shouldn’t be, lol, I forgot to edit it and finish it, so when I have the time I will fix the map a bit, and edit it some more, as I already know some places where I screwed up. However, as of now I don’t have the time to do so :stuck_out_tongue:


Did you make this map on Sketch.IO? That drawing website that’s on version 3.7?
Also, do you know any really good free drawing websites?


Don’t worry fam, I gotchu covered… So for PC I normally use GIMP, which is basically just a free version of Photoshop, but it’s hard to learn the mechanics of it… But to do the basic art that I do on it, it’s really easy. For mobile, I use SketchbookX (the free version), it’s hard to make certain things on it, but it’s very easy to make maps and such.